Beware of the Jonadabs of Life

delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, …
So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words,–Proverbs 2:12,16

Who we are ten years from now will be the result of the books we read and the people with whom we interact. In the 21^st century, we could also add what websites and social media platforms we visit. More concisely, we will be no better than the sum total of the influences with whom we surround ourselves. This is not only true for us adults, but it is a multiplied reality in the lives of our children. It should come as no surprise that the Lord puts a premium on relationships in the scriptures.

In 2 Samuel 13 a love-sick Amnon, poured out his losing predicament of wanting the attention of his half-sister, Tamar, to his cousin, Jonadab. Depending on which translation you use, Jonadab was described as “crafty, subtle, and shrewd.” He proposed an elaborate scheme that allowed Amnon to sexually assault Tamar. This sad scene ended with Tamar’s humiliation, her brother, Absalom’s, restrained rage for vengeance, and Amnon’s ultimate execution. The scoundrel, Jonadab, who caused so much heartache, walked away with no consequences at all. Oh, that Amnon would have had a friend with more scruples and integrity. Little did he know that this relationship would cost him his very life.

Having our children with us constantly, we have the blessed opportunity to teach our children about healthy relationships. First, we should encourage them to have friends who challenge them to excellence. Rather than devolve into the lowest common denominator, we should expect our teenage sons to be above cackling at belching, passing gas, and other sophomoric antics of youth. This includes exposing the stupidity and idiocy of a secular culture that has lost all sense of decorum and decency.

Second, we need to introduce our children to friends of old. Contrary to popular belief, we are not evolving but are rather devolving as a society. George Washington was around 14 years old when he copied the 110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior. He transcribed these rules into his school copybook as an exercise in penmanship, which greatly influenced his character and manners throughout his life. It was also at this same age when he began to study to be a surveyor, which he became at seventeen. Similarly, James Madison joined the Continental Congress at the age of 29, drafting much of the Constitution when he was only 36. Alexander Hamilton, though orphaned as a child, became Secretary of the Treasury at 33. On a contemporary note, the late Charlie Kirk was 18 when he started Turning Point before being martyred at 31. On and on the list goes. Rather than making much about our modern celebrities, we need to give our children a much higher target for which to aim.

Finally, we need to talk about the real life of Bible characters. David was a teenager when he slew Goliath. Josiah was only eight years old when he became king. By his teens he ushered in a great revival into the spiritual fabric of Judah, despite the fact his father and grandfather were evil kings. Daniel and his companions were thought to be between 15 to 18 years old when they were transplanted into Babylon, yet they held true to their parents’ teaching and faith. Joseph was around the same age when he was sold into Egyptian captivity. Twelve years later he was second in command over Egypt.

For far too long, we homeschooling parents have expected too little of our children, being conformed to the world rather than to scripture. Even a casual reading of Proverbs should cause our young people to realize the high calling God has for them. Our children’s vision for life will be directly affected by those with whom they spend time. This month we are praying that God would supernaturally connect them with people (and writers) who have a big picture of life. I encourage you to pray the following scriptures over your children as well as engage them in devotional thought over the following:

1. Pray that God would show our children great mercy by helping them not to be entangled with bad company, physically or digitally.

• My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent … my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths—Proverbs 1:10,15
• discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, –Proverbs 2:11,12
• Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” –1 Cor. 15:33

2. Pray that our children will be neither overly cynical and suspicious toward people but also that they would not be naïve and gullible.

• The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps. One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. —Proverbs 14:15,16
• For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive. –Romans 16:18
• Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”–1 Cor. 15:33

3. Pray that our children will understand the power of good books (websites) to exhort and build up as well as the ability of bad books (websites) to destroy.

• Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways. –Psalms 119:37
• Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹ What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. –Phil. 4:8,9

4. Pray that God will give our children healthy perspectives and relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that God will help our children to find godly spouses who are like-minded in virtuous values.

• [treat] older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. –1 Tim. 5:2
• An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. –Proverbs 31:10
• So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, –Proverbs 2:16

5. Pray that our children will have biblical application and understanding regarding current events and political ideologies.

• Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. –Romans 12:2
• We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, –2 Cor. 10:5

6. Pray that God will bring along positive mentors, role models, and influences into our children’s lives at the right time, regarding their spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual, and vocational walks.

• Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. –Proverbs 13:20
• Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, –Proverbs 4:1
• The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. –Proverbs 20:5

7. Pray that God endows our children with gracious, influential, Christ-like speech.

• A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. –Proverbs 25:11
• Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. –Col. 4:6
• The wise of heart is called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. –Proverbs 16:21

8. Pray that God will give us parents wisdom in how to engage our children in conversations, video clips, social media, and daily life events to teach them wisdom, discretion, and discernment in dealing with people.

• Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, –Proverbs 4:1
• He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, –Psalms 78:5

9. For those whose homes have already been negatively impacted by bad relationships, pray that God would cut off these relationships supernaturally and that our children would see the shallowness of such individuals.

• May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts, –Psalms 12:3
• We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped! –Psalms 124:7

10. Pray that God will cause our children to absolutely hate evil, in themselves first and the culture second.

• The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate. –Proverbs 8:13
• I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked. –Psalms 26:5