I have had the privilege of counseling dozens of married couples over my 40 plus years in ministry. Some would say incredulously, “Privilege?” Yes, privilege. The reason I am grateful for this experience is because it has demonstrated to me the unfathomable depths that pride will go to in order to survive so that it my live to fight another day. The health of the marriage is often sacrificed for the ill-fated pleasure of being “right.” In fact, one or a combination of the following can quickly categorize every marriage problem that I have dealt with: 1) pride, 2) poor communication, or 3) different expectations. However, pride is ALWAYS at the root.
This should come as no surprise to us as pride was the first sin committed in heaven through Lucifer and on earth through Adam and Eve. Of all sins, pride may be the most damaging. Why? It opens up the door to every other sin by proclaiming that MY will trumps God’s will.
Why do people commit adultery? They may feel like their spouse is not giving them what they need or feel like they are underappreciated or that they deserve better. Regardless, this points back to pride. “I am not getting what I feel I should be getting!” “I’m doing most of the work.” “I deserve more.” I… I… I…
Pride is basically putting my desires and thoughts above God’s; that is why it is the root of every other sin. We think we know best. We think we don’t need God’s commands. Consider man’s disrespect of God. No other name is taken in vain like God’s names. Marinade on that thought for a moment. Can you sense hell’s hostility against the name of Jesus Christ? When is the last time you heard Charles Darwin’s name taken in vain or Lenin’s or Hitler’s. No it is just Christ’s. This is the unmitigated pride of mankind.
It is imperative that we give our children a working knowledge of the manifestations of pride and humility. We must share examples from our own lives and—by God’s grace—help them to begin to see its nearly imperceptible encroachment into their lives. An unwillingness to share their toys. The demand to sit by the window in the car. Wanting to be first in line. Coming back for seconds while others have yet to have their first serving. Wanting to choose the restaurant. Always desiring recognition. Wanting to wear the outfit they feel comfortable in versus what is most appropriate for the occasion. This list is as endless as man’s vanity.
Pride in heaven ultimately paved the way for pride here on earth. This brought forth the fall by which we all will die (Proverbs 16:18; 18:12). We must not think that our children will somehow be exempt from this same destination if they always seek their own good above that of others.
In a culture of self-promotion and hedonism, we must do that we can to warn our children of the danger of pride. Equally as important, we must seek to detect it in our own lives to better enable them to see it in theirs.
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