Although life is extremely busy for most people, I still hear individuals lament that they feel stuck in a rut. It could be with their work, family or married life, and, yes, even their homeschooling. It can be characterized by feeling like you are just going through the motions or that you are busy accomplishing nothing or every day seems to slip into the next same day with little meaning. What causes this and what can we do to make it through these seasons?
Our perspective, to a great degree, dictates our reality. If we see the cup half-empty, we get stuck watching the cup get lower and lower rather than being grateful for how much we still have. One of the biggest enemies to a healthy perspective is comparing ourselves to the appearance of what others are doing. Of course, social media plays a big part of this in the 21st century as people put their best foot forward for the public to see. Personality is everything to these folks. Like professional wrestling and roller derby of the 70’s and 80’s, we know it is fake, but posts somehow still manage to touch a discontented chord within our hearts.
A cousin to social media, screen time, causes similar damage to young and old alike. The former is obvious but the latter is deceptively just as real. Statistics suggest that screen time among adults increases both depression and anxiety levels, and this affects them in varying facets of life including physically, emotionally, and relationally. We are so over-saturated with information that it runs out our ears, and, worse yet, it gobbles our homeschooling time throughout the day and family time in the evening. Not only do we miss the meat and potatoes, we are also sacrificing our dessert of relationships.
Finally, there is simply our level of busyness. In trying to give our children opportunities we didn’t have, many homeschooling parents car-school more than homeschool. It is a sad day when even teenagers talk about how fast their young lives are flying by. Though some individuals suggest otherwise, these problems don’t always have simple solutions. We want our children to dream big dreams and take calculated risks because they can sometimes pay off in glorious ways. However, they need to be reminded that they can’t have it all, and they can’t do it all. If they forget this maxim, the family will reap the whirlwind, and future generations will feel the impact.
At this point, some would assume a prescription of less tech time and an Andy Griffith lifestyle. No doubt, these would be helpful, but they do not address the full reality of our predicament. Jesus said, “There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.” (Mark 7:15) We don’t want to hack at the branches; instead, we want to go to the root. Why do we spend so much time voyeuristically looking at the lives of others when it adds no quality of life to our own? In fact, it takes away. Why do we give so much of our lives to watching things that profit little in this life and even less in the next life rather than investing more time with our children in both serious endeavors as well as simply making memories?
Instead of chasing our tails in some type of behavioral modification, we need to go to God directly for a change of heart. I realize it is spiritually trite to say we need to make time for a quality prayer life, but we really do need to make time for a quality prayer life. Joy does not come from things we do or possess; it come from God: You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. (Psalms 4:7) The older I get, the more I realize the impenetrable truth of this scripture.
Additionally trite is the fact that we need to make time for quality reading and studying of God’s Word. Yes, we are all busy, but if we did a little less screen time in the evening, we would find this exchange to be a generational game changer. Spending time in God’s Word and experiencing illumination of that word can lift us out of any rut in which we find ourselves. The Bible self-attests to being the bread of life, meat (solid food), milk, and honey. What a shame to have all the religious liberties that we have in America but still have so many professing Christians overfed but undernourished.
Third, looking for opportunities to invest into the lives of others is a biblically guaranteed method of elevating our own spirits. Proverbs 11:25 shares the principle of sowing into the lives of others: Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. While this is true throughout the year, it is especially highlighted during the holiday season. The recipients of our watering can be friends, extended family members, church members, or total strangers. Perhaps the best place to start, however, would be within the walls of our own homes. Those whom we should be most generous towards often receive our meager leftovers. How can you encourage a sibling who is going through a tough time? What can we do for Dad and Mom instead of vice versa? Do grandparents need help with a yard project?
While it may be a good idea to learn a new skill, rediscover your purpose, take a break, declutter your busy lifestyle, return to nature, or pick up a new hobby, these things do not go to the heart of the matter which is a matter of the heart. With the advent of 2024 coming closer, reconnecting with your first love (Rev. 2:4) may be the best way to experience the open road of your soul and get out of your present rut.
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