One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. –Proverbs 14:16 (ESV)
The most profound lessons our children learn in homeschooling will not be found in textbooks but in doing life together. Solomon reminds us that wisdom is demonstrated in showing a certain degree of caution throughout life, especially in turning away from evil while a fool recklessly plunges forward with little thought of the offense to God or of the consequences to himself.
Satan does not play fair. He will seek to destroy our children not just through outright debauchery, but he will prey on innocence and naiveite as well. Many young men have unintentionally come across an internet image that ultimately led to an addiction of pornography. Or young women have entangled their heart with an unbeliever because their mercy and desire to help a young man overcame their discretion in that vulnerable season of life. God’s word speaks directly to so many actions, and the Holy Spirit also speaks to others. There is that lightning quick yellow flag that whispers, “I don’t think you should be doing this.” In between stimulus and response this nano-second leads to a decision. Bottom line? If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Afterwards, you can ask your parents, your pastor, or a mature Christian why there was this hesitation. You may be surprised at their insights and previous experience.
One area we want to teach our children caution is, obviously, in the arena of sin. Many individuals ask the wrong question in their teens and twenties. They tend to wonder, “What’s so wrong with this action?” versus, “What is so right with this action?” They stress the scripture, “All things are lawful …” but omit the rest of the verse, “all things are not beneficial. (1 Cor. 6:12) Many things that have been done in the name of “Christian liberty” have set the perpetrators on a trajectory of destruction. Rather than allowing them to fall to the lowest common denominator of their peers, challenge them to rise to the top.
You may have heard the illustration of the woman who was hiring a driver for her team of horses and her carriage. When she asked how close to the edge of the mountain trail they could get before going over the edge, the first answered, “I can get within three feet” and the next applicant daringly answered, “… within two feet.” The third applicant replied, “I stay as far away from the edge as possible.” Do you want to guess which one she hired? While some thrill junkies want to run the edge with an extreme sport, sin is a completely different beast. Our children must be told that if they run the razor’s edge with sin, they will get cut, or as Solomon rhetorically asks, “Can a man take fire to his bosom and not get burned?” (Proverbs 6:27)
Another area, almost as equally as important is the friendships your children maintain. Remember, this is true of physical friends and digital friends as well. Too many parents are diligent with the former but totally overlook the latter. Parents also need to show discretion with friendships at church. Yes, church is what I said. Just because a family is equally-yoked with you does not mean they are like-minded. Sure, we show mercy to new Christians. Sure, we understand that there are many gray areas that we navigate individually. But, and this is a big but, different lifestyle choices have different destinations for different people. Two young people who have similar dispositions who get together as friends can either hold each other accountable or can fuel each other’s fires. The same is true regarding the opposite sex as well.
While our children need to be taught to take calculated risks in life, the key word here is calculated. Another word for calculated is cautious. Once that first step is taken, it cannot be untaken. Hollywood encourages and dares young people to take it to the extreme, but they are not there to help pick up the pieces. Others brag on their youthful audacity when they are in their twenties but are much quieter when they reap the whirlwind in their fifties. We must teach our children to wade through this present culture without being naïve.
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