An Essential Homeschool Ingredient: Encouragement!

Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, –Acts 4:36 (ESV)

Some people have the spiritual gift of exhortation. (Romans 12:8) They have the innate ability to see people who are struggling and seem to know just what to say to lift their spirits. Even though this level of understanding is indeed a grace gift from the Holy Spirit, we are all commanded to encourage one another. (1 Thes. 5:11)

Joseph was such an inspiration to others that the disciples gave him a nickname that has stuck with him now for 2,000 years. As with all encouragers, Barnabas tended to give people the benefit of the doubt, emphasizing the good in them rather than harping on their weaknesses. We see this early on when the new convert, Paul, was seeking fellowship with believers. All the local Christians, including the Apostles, were concerned that Paul’s conversion was a mere trick to lure followers into his web of persecution.

In Acts 9 Barnabas made the first move toward Saul—before he was named Paul. Barnabas knew God had done something, so he ultimately introduced him to the Apostles, assuring them that Paul’s conversion was genuine.

Later, during one of their missionary journeys, a young Mark deserted Paul and Barnabas when times got tough. When they prepared for a later trip, Barnabas insisted that Mark go with them again, but Paul took a hard stance, refusing to have their trip compromised by one who had already shown himself untrustworthy. Barnabas saw Mark’s potential while Paul focused on his past failure. The division over Mark was so strong that Paul and Barnabas parted ways with Paul taking Silas and Barnabas continuing to sow into Mark.

Paul ultimately saw what Barnabas had seen all long; Mark had great potential. In fact, Paul later asked for Mark by name, stating he was very useful for ministry. (2 Timothy 4:11) Perhaps Paul thought it was because of his strong stand that Mark came to both repentance and maturity, but it was more likely that it was the encouraging words and the ongoing investment by Barnabas that made the big difference in Mark’s life.

The question is obvious. Are you an encourager? Is your home a place where parents and siblings believe in one another or is it a prison of condemnation and discouragement. Even as I type these words, I see two hand-written notes from my youngest daughter to one of her older sisters who had been trying to make it into a dental hygiene program at a nearby college. It reads, “They are so lucky to have you. You are going to be the best dental hygienist ever.” My older daughter taped this to a picture frame for future encouragement. If a twelve-year-old can do this, how much more should eighteen- or twenty-year-olds seek to encourage others as well as parents.

As 2025 continues to build momentum, let us pray that our homes will be a place where all our members will be built up and not torn down. Please join us throughout the month of February, especially on next Tuesday, as we lift these needs up before the Lord. May ICHE be a place known for its encouragement to homeschoolers everywhere. (All scriptures in ESV unless otherwise noted.)

1. Pray that we will realize the power of the words that we speak to our children and spouses, words of either encouragement or discouragement.
   1. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. –Proverbs 18:21
   2. but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. –James 3:8,9
2. Like Paul with Mark, most parents train out of a reaction to negative circumstances rather than discipling continuously like Barnabas did. Pray that we parents will teach and train as much by reinforcing our children when our they do right rather than waiting for them to do something wrong and then punish them.
   1. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. –Proverbs 16:24
   2. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. –Eph. 6:4
3. While mothers can use guilt and manipulation to motivate their children, dads often use anger to get children to do what they want them to do. We dads often form the earliest perceptions of what the Heavenly Father is like to our children. Pray for us dads to learn to inspire our children to greatness by leading them by example and encouragement rather than always driving them through frustration.
   1. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. –Eph. 6:4
   2. Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor. –Proverbs 21:21
   3. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. –Proverbs 15:1
4. Pray that we parents will not get bogged down by the frustrations of today but will look to future potential because of what the Holy Spirit and His grace will do in the lives of our children.
   1. so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; –Psalms 78:7
   2. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. –Psalms 86:6
5. While we want to be wise as a serpent but harmless as a dove through discernment, pray that we will always try be looking for the good in others first rather than having—and teaching our children to have—a critical spirit.
   1. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. –Eph. 4:29
   2. And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. –Luke 6:31(KJV)
6. Pray that our children will not get caught up in the sarcasm of the day or the criticalness of the political voices but will speak encouragement to those with whom they come in contact, starting in their own home.
   1. Pray that our children will not be like Cain who killed Abel or Joseph’s brothers who sold him into slavery or Saul who was jealous of David.
   2. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, –Romans 15:5
7. Pray that our children will be genuinely happy for the successes of others, knowing it is God’s will, and not let a spirit of jealousy take hold of them.
   1. And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in mind. –Gen. 37:11
   2. Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? –Proverbs 27:4
   3. Their tongue is a deadly arrow; it speaks deceitfully; with his mouth each speaks peace to his neighbor, but in his heart he plans an ambush for him. –Jeremiah 9:8
8. While we do want to be discerning and careful in our relationships—bad company corrupts good habits—pray that both we parents and our children would be willing to overlook the faults of others.
   1. Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. –Proverbs 19:11
   2. It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. –Proverbs 20:3
   3. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? –Matt. 7:3
9. Pray that as a community of believers we will encourage those who are going through a difficult time whether it be in their marriage, their family, their physical bodies, homeschooling, etc., even if it is a result of their own poor choices. Who of us does not deserve the judgment of God in some area of disobedience in our own life? Let’s stand by each other, showing mercy and praying for God’s blessings.
   1. The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught. –Is. 50:4
   2. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. –1 Thes. 5:14
10. Pray that God will continue to reveal any personality flaws, sin, emotional scar, unmet need, etc. that would cause us to be critical or to lash out because of some unmet need in our own lives. It is so easy to think the problem is out there rather than in here.
    1. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? –Jer. 17:9
    2. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. –Psalms 51:6 (KJV)
11. Pray that we will be able to discern between essential doctrines, secondary issues and personal convictions in dealing with people who see things differently than we do.
    1. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. –Romans 14:19 (KJV)
    2. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master^[a] that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. –Romans 14:4