The First Cause of Self-Control

As Christians, the first cause of all things is the person of Jesus Christ. He initiated salvation by laying down His life at Calvary. He then causes us to be born again spiritually by realizing we are sinners in need of the salvation that He has already secured. When it comes to growing in self-control, the scriptures make it clear that this too is an outgrowth of the Word and Spirit at work in us.

Consider a few important scriptures:

• But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.—Galatians 5:22,23 (NKJV)
• For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.—2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

Part of the work of the Holy Spirit is to bring about the character of Christ within our own hearts and lives. He orchestrates events that, while sometimes seemingly difficult to us, produce the fruit of self-control that enables us to walk above fear.

What does this journey look like? 2 Peter lays it out:

• But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, ⁶ to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, ⁷ to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.—2 Peter 1:5-7

This is not necessarily to be seen as a strict step-by-step process but it is to be seen as a culmination of responses to the God-ordained happenings in our lives, coming together to produce a mature Christian. It does start with faith in Jesus Christ and out of that faith, we automatically begin to act more virtuous. We also begin to desire knowledge in this new way of living, so we can please the one who called us out of darkness into His light. Knowledge gives us the vision to see clearly what life is truly about and when have that insight into eternity, the natural outcome is we start saying, “No,” to certain temporary things down here in order to say, “Yes,” to other, more permanent issues.

There is no way to rush this process. This is one reason Solomon encouraged his readers to remember their Creator in the days of their youth. (Ecc. 12:1) Yes, our sins can be instantly forgiven but walking in a self-controlled lifestyle takes years of the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. This should serve as a great motivation for us parents to point our children to Christ so they can establish good habits from the beginning.

Since self-control is a result of the grace of God, during the month of July we are going to approach the throne of that grace through prayer and fasting to grow in this important character trait.

1. Pray that we parents will first demonstrate self-control in our own lives before we expect it to be a reality in the lives of our children.

• You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that a man should not steal, do you steal?–Romans 2:21 (NKJV)
• For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.–Matt. 23:4 (NKJV)

2. Pray that our children will be able to control their anger.

• An angry man stirs up strife, And a furious man abounds in transgression.–Proverbs 29:22 (NKJV)
• Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools.–Ecc. 7:9 (NKJV)

3. Pray that God will help our children control their tongue.

• For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.–James 3:2
• Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles.–Proverbs 21:23 (NKJV)
• But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.–Matt. 12:36 (NKJV)

4. Pray that our children will be self-controlled in their thought life.

• casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,–2 Cor. 10:5 (NKJV)
• For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. ⁶ For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.–Romans 8:5,6 (NKJV)

5. Pray that our children will not fall prey to worldly appetites but will have the self-control to walk away.

• And put a knife to your throat If you are a man given to appetite.–Proverbs 23:2 (NKJV)
• But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.–1 Timothy 6:9 (NKJV)

6. Pray that God will enlighten our children’s eyes to the end result of a life without self-control.

• He who loves pleasure will be a poor man; He who loves wine and oil will not be rich.—Proverbs 21:17
• For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; ⁴ but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.–Proverbs 5:3,4 (NKJV)

7. Pray that our children will be good stewards over the time that God allots them here on earth.

• She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.–Proverbs 31:27
• Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his master made ruler over his household, to give them food in due season? ⁴⁶ Blessed is that servant whom his master, when he comes, will find so doing. –Matthew 24:25, 26

8. Pray that our children will have self-control to keep Christ as their main priority.

• Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist.–Proverbs 23:4 (ESV)
• but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.–Mark 4:19 (ESV)