And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose
The famed reformation preacher, Martin Luther, had occasional fights with deep fits of depression that ran counter to his normally cheerful disposition. During one such event, he came home to find his wife, Katharina, dressed in mourning clothes of black. Surprised, he inquired, “Who is dead?”
“Why,” said she, “doctor, have not you heard that God is dead? My husband, Martin Luther, would never be in such a state of mind if he had a living God to trust to.” Then he burst into a hearty laugh, and said, “Kate, thou art a wise woman. I have been acting as if God were dead, and I will do so no more. Go and take off thy black.”
To hear some homeschooling parents speak of their experience, one might conclude their God is also dead. They lament over their many parental mistakes: past, present, and even future. They realize they don’t have their children’s hearts and grieve over that reality daily, if not hourly. Some are so defeated that they honestly believe their children would be better off in a government school system that denies God. (And as if the public school doesn’t make mistakes.) What can be said to them that will give them not only temporary relief but long-term hope? Romans 8:28!
While what we do as parents definitely matters, God’s Word and purposes matter even more. He is so masterful in His design and methods that He causes everything that we do—our exhilarating homeruns and our shameful strikeouts—to work together for good in the lives of our children if we truly love Him and seek His face. That is how great He is. This is why ICHE constantly promotes a vision of homeschooling that emphasizes the centrality of Christ. It is about His grace, His power, and His glory, not our efforts.
Does that mean we minimize our parental failures and indifferently throw them at Christ’s feet, expecting Him to wave a wand and automatically take care of that which we did poorly? Not at all. Instead, we repent. We acknowledge our failures before God, and, when appropriate, our children as well. As a younger father, I was too hard on my children at times, talking to them more like a coach than a father. (I still do at times.) I have confessed this to God numerous times, understanding I was being a poor representation of the Heavenly Father.
I have also asked forgiveness from my children. This is not an apology for being their God-give authority but an acknowledgement that I don’t always do it right in that capacity. It is not only confessional but instructional. I share with them what I should have done and challenge them to learn from my mistakes in order to be a better parent than me. They need to build their future on my present shoulders. I also tell them they are responsible for how they respond to my sin or weakness. Just because I mess up, it doesn’t give them the right to be resentful or bitter. They are called to show forgiveness when I ask for it. Talk about a wonderful homeschooling lesson.
Teaching our children at home brings out some of the worst in us as parents. The Good News is that God will replace it with the best of Him when we ask for it. We nod our heads in agreement when, “God is Sovereign,” or, “God is in control,” is proclaimed, but, like Martin Luther, we often deny it with our actions and words. The biblical reality is that ALL things work together for homeschooling parents who love God. God is bigger than our mistakes. He gives us strength where there is presently only weakness. The glory is not in us but in His ability to accomplish His purposes.
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