Know Thyself

While the Greeks usually take credit for the aphorism “know thyself” the Bible has always put an emphasis on the importance of self-knowledge and self-awareness:

• The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? –Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)
• Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. –Psalms 139:23,24 (KJV)
• Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? —unless indeed you fail to meet the test! –2 Corinthians 13:5

Knowing ourselves should not be seen as a morbid, New Age activity based on some type of meditation technique but should be the result of an authentic pursuit of the Lord, understanding His glory and truth is a mirror to our souls. The Holy Spirit uses our words to reveal what is in our hearts (Matt. 12:34) as well as our priorities. (Matt. 6:21) Such things give us insight and clarity into our character, emotions, motivations, and perspectives. The question we should constantly be asking ourselves is, “Do I reflect Christ or the culture?”

Self-awareness helps us to better understand and use our strengths even as it cautions us when we are working outside our gifting, experience, or knowledge. Since we cannot do everything or know everything, it helps us to know what to put our time and energies towards and when to defer to someone else. It also gives us confidence in our humility when we say, “This is outside my area of expertise …” empowering us to reach out to others who can give us valuable input without feeling our personhood is compromised.

Having a decent understanding of ourselves also helps us in relationships. Since the fall, everyone’s lenses (perspectives) are fractured to one extent or another. While we see 10% of our heart that is above the surface, there is another 90% of the iceberg submerged just underneath the surface waiting to sink our ship. It is easy to think that any problems we have is because of our spouse, our children, our friends, etc. when, in fact, it might be our own problem to which we are blind. We all have certain self-defense mechanisms that serve to protect our fragile pride above all else. The old saying is when you are pointing at someone else, there are three more pointing back at you. If we have the same ongoing issues with different people at different times, at some point we need to look at the man in the mirror.

In marriage counseling, I always listen for the mouth to betray the heart and thus expose the perspective. Both husband and wife would say they are telling the truth, but what I am looking for is not truth but accuracy. For instance, if a husband accuses the wife of doing a certain activity “all the time” I whittle down to what “all the time” really meant. If it were only once a month, I know that spouse’s perspective is not accurate. He or she isn’t actually lying, they just convinced themselves of an untruth by exaggeration. When we see accurately, with increasingly limited bias, it enables us to make wiser assessments.

If we do grow in self-understanding, we can become comfortable with our own skin which then allows us to be authentic with others. We don’t live to get our identity from people—though it is great to receive gracious responses. Rather, we can enjoy relationships without needing to get something out of it. Far too many people gauge their self-worth from how others perceive them. This is akin to being a yo-yo in the game of life.

The more self-aware we become, the more freedom we will experience. The same is true for our children. Since we spend both quality and quantity of time with our children through homeschooling, we can help them in this process. If they comprehend the importance of understanding their motivations and emotions, it will serve them even more than academic excellence.

Please, join us on the second Tuesday of the month—or throughout the entire month—as we pray for this life-blessing grace to be active in our children’s lives.

1. Pray that God will give us and our children a true understanding of what it means to be in Christ. Pray that this knowledge will give them confidence to approach the throne of grace boldly to receive important feedback from the Holy Spirit.
   1. and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, –Eph. 2:6
   2. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. –Romans 8:1
2. Pray that our children will become aware of their strengths and weaknesses in order to know where to put most of their efforts and energies in future endeavors.
   1. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; –Romans 12:6
   2. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. –Gen. 4:2 (God gives different people different passions.)
3. Pray that our children will understand and accept their giftings in order to know their limitations and know when to ask others for help without feeling insecure or threatened.
   1. And he said, “If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you. –2 Samuel 10:11
   2. Of Zebulun 50,000 seasoned troops, equipped for battle with all the weapons of war, to help David with singleness of purpose. –1 Chron. 12:33
   3. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. –2 Cor. 12:10
4. In knowing themselves, pray that our children will be confident in their personhood and not feel the need to impress others or to get their identity from them so that they may be authentic in their interactions.
   1. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; –1 John 3:21
   2. but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. –1 Thes. 2:4
5. Pray that God will help our children see accurately, so they can make God-honoring decisions in life rather than choosing out of unmet needs.
   1. My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion, –Proverbs 3:21
   2. “I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion. –Proverbs 8:12
6. Pray that our children will be comfortable in their own skin so that they may receive praying receive any reproof gracefully and humbly. May this self-awareness also give them the ability to “try the spirits” to make sure any reproof is indeed from the Holy Spirit and not someone’s fleshly thoughts projected onto them.
   1. If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you. –Proverbs 1:23
   2. Story of old prophet and young prophet in 1 Kings 13
7. Pray that as our children will come to genuinely know and accept themselves, they will be an agent of God’s grace to encourage others to do the same.
   1. Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. –1 Thes. 5:11
8. Pray that our children will be content with who God has made them and how He made them yet have a desire to grow as individuals through the grace of God.
   1. You have indeed struck down Edom, and your heart has lifted you up. Be content with your glory, and stay at home, for why should you provoke trouble so that you fall, you and Judah with you?” –2 Kings 14:10
   2. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. –2 Peter 3:18
9. Pray that our children’s self-knowledge will protect them from being blinded by personal scars and weaknesses.
   1. the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; –Psalms 19:8
   2. Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law. –Psalms 119:18
10. Pray that our children’s self-awareness will enable them to be generous and gracious in their thoughts towards others even if the latter acts inappropriately.
    1. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. –Eph. 4:29