Back in the early 1990’s I was so concerned about the marriage and divorce rate that I put together an eight-week pre-marriage counseling packet. I then went to the ministerial alliance in my county and encouraged the other pastors not to marry anyone without at least three premarital sessions. They agreed. It was one of the best decisions our alliance ever made.
In my introductory material I pointed out that many people spend upwards of a hundred thousand dollars and four years to prepare for a vocation that, at most, will only last for forty-some years. Some never spend the first day working in the field they spent years in preparing, having chased an opportunity in another unrelated area. As odd as this sounds, most people enter the marriage relationship, which is to last until death do us part, with hardly any training whatsoever. And we wonder why so many marriages fail. It would be funny if it were not so devastating.
What is true with marriage is often true with parenting. For some, it is only when they hold that eight-pound bundle of joy that they realize their lives are about to change. The have the responsibility of raising a being who will live throughout eternity. Only the week before their biggest decision was whether to eat Mexican or Italian but now??? I remember talking with a 28-year-old who was about to have her first child. She confessed that she had never changed a baby’s diaper in her life, and she was freaking out. Little did she know that changing diapers is the easiest thing about being a parent or as one of my talks is entitled, “I’d Take Diapers Any Day.”
Few young parents realize that parenting is a journey not a destination. It is a process that they will grow in throughout their entire life, for as soon as we start to understand one stage of life, our child matures into the next developmental period. While reading parenting books is an excellent way to prepare, most of parenting is OJT (on the job training). We learn by doing. This means we have some days when we feel like we hit it out of the park and other days when we feel God should cut us from the parenting team and give our children to another coach who is better or at least more qualified. We feel like such failures at times
We need to enter parenting as we enter homeschooling, open to learning from reputable sources, open to Divine correction, and asking for His grace to encourage us. We can never plan for every scenario that comes our way because reality is far crazier than fiction. We must continually look to the Spirit of God and His word to lead and guide us. Correction is often humbling. We may feel we do more wrong than we do right in certain seasons. Of course, the devil is always there to shout out our shortcomings to God and whisper God’s disapproval to us. We need to remember that parenting is a process that God is actively and patiently involved in. He is for us despite what the Father of Lies says.
We have had several friends and acquaintances heart-broken by the choices of their adult children over the last few years. My wife told me only this morning, “God is doing something here. He is revealing waywardness and rebellion in the homeschooling arena.” She then showed me a picture of an adult homeschooler proudly posing with a shirt that celebrated, “Just Divorced.” It is causing many to ask, “What is going on?”
This is not a time to grow weary, faint, or desperate. God is still on His throne with just as much power as ever. It is a time, however, for parents to go to their knees in prayer for more of His grace as we battle an increasing secularized and sensualized culture that is gaining inroads into the Christian homeschooling community. If we can do this by His grace, there will be no mountain that we cannot scale, regardless of how many lies Satan spews out.
Please join us throughout the month of September and specifically on the second Tuesday as we pray for the following:
Pray that God will supernaturally encourage parents who are struggling, and who feel they have more failures than victories in the parental department.
- Is not your fear of God your confidence, and the integrity of your ways your hope? –Job 4:6
- To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, –2 Thes. 1:11
Pray that God will provide young mothers with true Titus 2 women and not superficial Facebook posts to train and encourage them as they raise their children.
- Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, –Titus 2:3,4
May God reveal to homeschooling parents His true glory as well as their identity in Him, regardless of familial circumstances.
- that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, –Eph. 1:17
- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, –Eph.2:6
Pray that parents will not be fearful in raising their children in this perverse generation, knowing that God is able to save our children to the uttermost.
- for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. –2 Timothy 1:7
- If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. 18 But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” –Daniel 3:17,18
Pray that parents will have an understanding and patient heart if their children take a temporary step backwards in order to go two steps forward. Pray they will walk in faith during these challenging seasons.
- And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. –Romans 8:28
- Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. 12 But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. 13 And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword. –Ex. 17:11-13
Pray that parents will not lessen their true convictions, focus, or energy during challenging seasons. Pray they will not lower their expectations for what God’s grace can do in their children’s hearts but remain steady in their faith and in the waiting.
- But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. –Ex. 17:12
- And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. –Phil. 1:6
Pray that in His mercy God will set limits on any rebellion or backsliding and bring back any wayward children as painlessly as possible.
- Therefore I will hedge up her way with thorns, and I will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths. She shall pursue her lovers but not overtake them, and she shall seek them but shall not find them. Then she shall say, ‘I will go and return to my first husband, for it was better for me then than now.’–Hosea 2:6,7
- And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. –Luke 15:16-18
Pray that whatever losses families experience during challenging times, God will restore many times over so the joy of the end of the matter will be even greater than the good times before the matter.
- And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. –Job 42:10
- And I will multiply on you man and beast, and they shall multiply and be fruitful. And I will cause you to be inhabited as in your former times, and will do more good to you than ever before. Then you will know that I am the Lord. –Ez. 36:11
Pray that God will give the gift of faith to those who are being blown about in a season of parental adversity to know that nothing stops God’s will from going forward.
- And he said, “Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s. –2 Chron. 20:15
- No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, –Romans 4:20
Pray that if God convicts us parents of missing the mark in any way, we will repent before God, learn from Him, be humble before our children, and see this as a learning experience and not a failure. Parenting is not Pass/Fail. Some of the greatest lessons can be caught and taught to our children from our own faults.
- For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”–Hebrews 12:6
- Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning. –Proverbs 9:9
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