Move over claustrophobia (fear of small spaces). You too, entomophobia (fear of insects). There is a new phobia to catalogue. Its official name is ParentalVocationalAcademicEducationalSocialFailurephobia and is summarized as a fear of homeschooling. Its symptoms include second guessing yourself as a parent, spouse, teacher, and decent human being as well as avoiding extended family celebrations and other events where people drill your kids with questions they would ask nobody else. Victims report trouble sleeping at night, searching the internet day and night for a different curriculum, and a irresistible desire to go to every ICHE conference. This fear has plagued homeschoolers all the way back to Adam and Eve who alone had a genuine right to worry about socialization with the neighborhood kids.
The Bible makes it clear that, “ … God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) Still, so many Christian homeschoolers have constant anxiety about how their children are doing academically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. For most it is a waste of time and energy, adding nothing but kidnapping peace of mind and joy. As Erma Bombeck once said, “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” Satirist Mark Twain remarked, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Since July is a month that we celebrate liberty, let us apply this to homeschool fears as well. I am going to share a homeschooling fear, share an insight for consider, and also give a scripture to pray. Have fun and be free! We usually fast the second Tuesday of each month but pick a day that works best for you.
- Fear of educational gaps.
My consistent comment to this fear is, “I’m glad I was public schooled, so there are not gaps in my education.” Of course, everyone laughs because it is only when they start to homeschool that they realize how little they learned in public school. Regardless of what model of education you use–public school, private school, homeschool, hybrid–there are going to be gaps in your child’s education. You must know 1) what gaps you can live with, 2) what gaps can be closed later on with fewer tears and frustration, 3) what gaps are non-negotiable like where your kids will spend eternity.
- fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. –Isaiah 41:10
- Fear of failure in preparing children for life in general.
Public school is an artificial environment. There is no other place—excluding the church that imitates the world—where people of the very same age hang out all day together. It is not the real world. In homeschooling, children get to interact with all ages, including grandparents and parents who have lived a lot longer on the earth. They also have more time to read great books of leading thinkers in both the present and the past. Just having your children with you will better prepare them for life.
- fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. –Is. 41:10
- And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” –Ex. 33:14
- Fear of children not being prepared for college, next level of education, or vocation.
CEO’s have told me they can train for the skill, but they cannot train for the character. If you help your children obtain character traits like punctuality, honesty, self-motivation, work ethic, etc. they cannot help but succeed.
- “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. 2 And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. –Deut. 28:1,2
- Fear of our own inabilities since we are not certified teachers, especially in areas in which we struggled ourselves in school.
According to National Home Education Research Institute (NEHRI):
- Homeschool students score above average on achievement tests regardless of their parents’ level of formal education or their family’s household income.
- Whether homeschool parents were ever certified teachers is not related to their children’s academic achievement.
- All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children. –Is. 54:13
- I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. –John 15:5
- Fear of financial survival since most homeschooling households are one-income families.
We must decide what is most important in life, a second or third car, five cell phones, a beautifully furnished home, expensive vacations, constantly eating out, etc. While this sounds rhetorical, it is difficult to make ends meet as it takes money to live, especially during this season in America. Dads need to work hard to provide, but we must always be looking to Jesus as our provider since nothing is for certain in today’s economy.
- And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. –Phil. 4:19
- He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. –1 Thes. 5:24
- Fear of children not being properly socialized.
Most homeschoolers laugh at this stereotype since there are endless activities that homeschoolers can participate in. One man focused on this specific area for his master’s thesis and through a battery of social test discovered that homeschoolers scored at the 84th percentile in social skills while their public-school counterparts only scored in the upper 20’s percentile. NEHRI’s studies also concluded that homeschoolers score above average in socialization.
- For Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Ahasuerus, and he was great among the Jews and popular with the multitude of his brothers, for he sought the welfare of his people and spoke peace to all his people. –Esther 10:3
- And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. –Luke 2:52
- Fear of having enough time to homeschool well.
When they have young children, many parents spend between 2-3 hours a day homeschooling, being done before noon. This allows plenty of time for play which is the work of childhood, and they need plenty of it. As public-school educators, my wife and I have noted the wasted time of waiting in lines, waiting for the slowest student to get done, bathroom breaks, etc. so much time is lost at these schools. In homeschooling, it takes seconds rather than 5-10 minutes to change subjects. This is why homeschoolers get so much more done is a shorter amount of time. By the time our children are in high school, most of their work is based on independent learning, which is one the best models for learning. Until then, don’t try to do it all. It is better to do a few things well than many things halfway. As your children age, they will help you get even more done, and those days will be here sooner than you think. Choose activities wisely and sparingly, not getting caught up in worldliness.
- And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” –Joshua 24:15
- At that time Joshua spoke to the Lord in the day when the Lord gave the Amorites over to the sons of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, “Sun, stand still at Gibeon, and moon, in the Valley of Aijalon.” –John 10:12 (God controls time)
- Fear of man’s opinions.
While there are things we need and are obligated to do, there are other things we do simply to please people. There is nothing inherently wrong with this other than it takes away from those things which are most important. Every home is different, and every child is different. Everyone has their own rhythm. Some are slow and steady while others are fast and furious, and there is a need for both. Whether it is your curriculum, schedule, activities, etc., do what you think God wants you to do. I’ve seen people who have been so opinionated against something, telling everyone else they should not do it, and then five years later they are doing that very thing. Seek to please God.
- The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. –Proverbs 29:25
- For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. –Gal. 1:10
- Fear of falling behind.
Two questions I always ask. Behind who? Behind what? God knows what is best for your children and the lights will go off in His timing. We have had kids read fluently at four and the next struggle until eight only to take off and pass the other. While we recognize there can be real problems that need to be addressed, it is often a matter of maturity and timing. If you become anxious, your children will sense it and also become anxious. Enjoy the journey.
- Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; –Psalms 25:3
- He has made everything beautiful in its time … –Ecc. 3:11
- Fear of missing God.
Really? You are sacrificing so much to honor God through home discipleship, and you think God will not lead you in a way that you can understand? We need to remember that God is with us in this thing called homeschooling. Any time we feel condemned in the process, this is our enemy and not our Savior. Quit worrying about the big things and focus on doing the little, doable things each day like loving your children, enjoy being with them, laugh with them, talk about God throughout the day with them, and include some lessons on the 3 R’s. If they realize who they are in Christ and are comfortable with whom God has made them, they will do well in life.
- Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. … And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. –Is. 30:18, 21
- And he said to him, “If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here. –Ex. 33:15
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