Preparing for the New School Year

During my quarter of a century as a pastor, I did a substantial amount of marriage counseling, both pre and post. At the risk of sounding simplistic, of all the many challenges that I waded through with people, I could categorize them all in a combination of the following:

• Some manifestation of pride (selfishness, always right, only seeing my side, etc.)
• Different Expectations
• Poor Communication

Pride is always there at some level; after all, we’re fallen individuals who want our way. Second, we are individuals with different priorities and therefore different expectations. This seems understandable but challenging at times. Poor communication? That is basically pouring gasoline onto the fire of the previous two.

While we will have to work on our pride until the day we die, different expectations can be dealt with when husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, choose to spend a little time talking about their vision for their family. Where do we want to be in 5, 10, or 20 years? What character qualities are most important for us to pass onto our children? What giftings and interests do we see in their lives and how can we train them toward that end? What are our main goals in discipling and teaching our children at home? Although a doctor and a plumber can both make good money and can hopefully manage good family time, their academic training process will probably look differently.

Problems come when we are divided over vision. In fact, the word division actually means two-visions. Sadly, many homes have no vision, but two separate visions can be even worse as they cause consistent friction between Dad and Mom or they never talk at all, always living in reactive mode. God puts two very different parents in a family for a good reason … we all need balance. Moms, while you may put more time into the day-to-day, Dad might be able to give some valuable observations as he is not caught up in the drama of the daily. Dads, you need to check in with your wife and be a sounding board for her as she spends the bulk of her time with the children. Don’t feel threatened by that but embrace it and thank God for it. Additionally, if your wife is upset about one of the children, don’t feel like you must immediately go in with guns blazing to fix something; sometimes she may just need to vent or receive encouragement.

The old adage in carpentry is to measure twice and cut once. This is good advice as we approach another homeschooling year. Hopefully, your curriculum is largely self-guided, but activities, field trips, schedules, and other priorities have to be intentional, or they will get lost in the busyness of life. You need to take time to set your vision for the year.

To help with this, following are some prayer prompts that give each of us something to pray about and talk about in the process of getting a vision. For anyone wanting to fast with our team, we usually reserve the second Tuesday of each month. Remember, prayer and fasting is but one way we set the vision for our dependency upon God. The scriptures teach that God is close to those of a humble and contrite spirit (Is. 66:2).

1. Pray that God will give husbands and wives unity in their vision of life, which includes religion, parenting, and education.
   1. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, –John 17:22
   2. Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. –1 Peter 3:8
2. Pray that fathers will really get under the yoke of leadership, having vision for the family and knowing how to best serve their wives’ needs since they are with the children on a daily basis.
   1. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. –1 Peter 3:7
   2. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. –Luke 22:26
3. Pray that we will have confidence in the Lord, in us, to us, and through us as parents, since He gave our children to us.
   1. being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; –Phil 1:6 (NKJV)
   2. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. –Psalms 32:8 (NKJV)
   3. Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” –Deut. 31:6 (NKJV)
4. For those who struggle with confidence in their homeschooling journey, pray that God will reveal to them how He loves to come alongside the humble in heart and the overwhelmed in spirit.
   1. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. –Psalms 34:18 (NKJV)
   2. Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. –Proverbs 18:2
   3. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” –1 Peter 5:5
5. Pray that God will give fathers and mothers insight to what their children need as well as a sensitivity to the timing of those needs.
   1. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; –Proverbs 2:6
   2. Let my lord pass on ahead of his servant, and I will lead on slowly, at the pace of the livestock that are ahead of me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.” –Gen. 43:13
6. Pray that God will bring along resources, activities, and people at the right time that would be Christ-exalting and parent edifying and children captivating.
   1. “Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? –Matt. 24:45
   2. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. –Phil. 4:19
7. Pray that our children would be motivated to act by a big, exciting, proactive vision rather than a list of reactive parental do’s and don’ts.
   1. If I say, “I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot. –Jer. 20:9
   2. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”–Gen. 1:28
8. Pray that overflowing grace will baptize every member of every Christian, homeschooling household, and that God’s divine influence would impact every academic subject, every familial relationship, and every private moment.
   1. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. –2 Cor. 9:8
   2. Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain. And he shall bring forward the top stone amid shouts of ‘Grace, grace to it!’” –Zech 4:7 (this is a great prophecy to read for the building of your family)
9. Pray for new homeschoolers 1) not to get overwhelmed, 2) not to try and do everything, 3) to be gospel-centered, 4) find a reasonably priced curriculum that will serve them and not the other way around, 5) and find a good community.
   1. But charge Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he shall go over at the head of this people, and he shall put them in possession of the land that you shall see.’–Deut. 3:28
   2. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” –Joshua 1:9
10. Pray that husbands and wives will be able to communicate at a deep level concerning vision without friction, fear, or insecurity, but will be able to give balanced input for the best results for their children. If emotional bank accounts are low due to past encounters, pray that God would restore communication.
    1. Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, –Proverbs 1:5
    2. Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; –James 1:19
11. Pray that we would be as hungry for God to fill our home with His presence as much as we want food to fill our stomachs.
    1. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. –Matt. 5:6
    2. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. –Psalms 16:11