The young adult years can bring some of the greatest of joys or the keenest of misery to Christian households. It is a glorious thing to see a son or daughter come into their own, embracing Christ not just as their Savior but as their Lord, and aggressively preparing for adulthood. On the other hand, if a seed of rebellion takes root, parents sit in isolating condemnation, wondering, “What did we do wrong?”
Many dads and moms are looking for a remedy or a system that guarantees good kids. They will pay significant money to anyone who can provide even the slightest hope of relief from the fear, doubt, pain, and utter desperation that this season can potentially bring. While bloggers or speakers may have some good fundamental ideas in how to navigate these tempestuous seas, each journey is unique. It is not about getting the letter of the system down to perfection but understanding the spirit of this short period of life that can pack a punch for good or evil.
Throughout the rest of the year, I am going to dedicate the second monthly eblast to preparing your children—and yourself—for this unique season. As many of you already know, the term “adolescence” was not even a word until it was invented at the turn of last century by G. Stanley Hall. Unfortunately, this unbiblical label was not the only unbiblical idea that Hall inserted into the American landscape. He also introduced the idea of age segregated school classes, which has been adopted by the American church, even though there is no other social structure in America that is divided this way in our culture. There are no factory assembly lines broken up by age. The political realm has office holders from their twenties to their eighties. Even the armed forces have soldiers, sailors, and aviators of all ages. We find no precedence of this in scripture; therefore, it should cause us to reconsider our commitment to this and other ways of thinking that we call “normal.”
My motivation for these e-blasts is my observation and first-hand knowledge of homeschoolers who struggle spiritually during or after their high school years. Even this morning I received a text from a pastor who wants to talk about, “What is happening to our young people?” This time between school and marriage, between the now and the not yet, can be a difficult chasm to traverse. Some young adult homeschoolers develop negative habits such as cussing like sailors—at least while their parents are not around—while others drink like soldiers on leave. Clubbing, gambling, crude humor, sexual sin, etc. is not only a description of the world, but also of the church and, yes, some of the Christian homeschooling community. Studies claim as many as 90% of our young men are consistent viewers of pornographic models while an increasing number of our young ladies are starting to dress like them.
The good news is that most parents clearly see the trajectory and are highly concerned. They are not burying their heads in the sand but are actively pursuing various means of grace to see their adult children grow in God’s likeness. Depending upon their children’s ages, it is difficult to address it. Let’s face it. At nineteen or twenty, our children can simply leave if they want. It takes parental wisdom in knowing how to address this season. We do not want them to negatively influence their younger siblings, but if they leave, they may run over the cliff and end up in total debauchery. As a parent, you must be true to God in you. Do not let others intimidate you into taking a course of action that you do not feel good about, whatever that would like. Find your own course through the Word and the Holy Spirit and endure.
The starting point of everything we do is the person of Jesus Christ. It does not matter if your child is just starting his teen years or is post college, everything centers on Christ. I realize I am preaching to the choir, but our understanding can sometimes fall into indifferent rhetoric rather than action born of living faith. If our children take a direction that opposes God and their parents, it can lead to a dark season for the parental soul. While our young adult children will make their own decisions and experience the consequences, they directly affect us too. We may feel embarrassed, shocked, confused, isolated, or downright angry at those choices.
As Christians, we must never lose sight of the fact that God is really with us, and He is for us. Wait a minute. Do not skim over this thought religiously, but simmer on it. Look at the following verses.
- And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, 17 even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you –John 14:16-18
- Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.5 Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you. –Is. 43:4,5
- For behold, I am for you, and I will turn to you, and you shall be tilled and sown. –Ez. 36:9
Sometimes, the heavens above are brass and we are rusting below. We may be going through a wide range of emotions that defy scriptural reality, but the bible declares what actually is. We do not go by our feelings or circumstance but by the truth of God’s Word. Even when we are beat down and beat up, the bible says God is with us and He is for us. In these times of despair, we tend to approach God timidly and shamefully, thinking we have messed up so much. The reality? We have. God did not come for perfect people. He alone is perfect, and He came to help those of us who know how short we fall. Amen? We must also remember that one man (the high priest) was only allowed into God’s presence one day a year (Day of Atonement) in the Old Testament. Because of Christ’s sacrifice, we have the absolute privilege of going into the throne room of grace any time we see the need. For many, that season is NOW!
If you are in a darker familial season presently, start proclaiming, “God is with us and is for us.” Whether you need to say in once a day or fifty times a day, say it as often as you need. This line will boost your faith, and it only takes faith like a small mustard seed to realize God’s grace is there, is at work, and is more than sufficient to meet you in your time of need.
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