Tensions

But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.–James 2:18

We have a mere eighteen years to prepare our children for the journey of life. To make things even more difficult is the fact that many of us parents are still trying to figure life out for ourselves. There are so many doctrines of God and man that will help our children navigate life successfully, and one of these is knowing how to pilot through the various tensions of life.

What is a tension? A tension occurs when there seems to be two different opinions with a lot of gray in between. We see various tensions in the bible. Faith and works. Which is more important? Well, it depends on who you talk with and what season of life they are presently going through. Some want to sit around the coffee shop and talk about the bible all day long but not do anything with it while the other wants to feed and clothe people, so they are comfortable on their way to hell, never talking to them about Jesus.

John 4 talks about worshipping God in spirit and truth. The Charismatics are all about the Holy Spirit while the reformed folks circle the wagons around truth. They both suspiciously eye one another with the former thinking the latter is dead and the latter thinking the former is crazy.

We could go on and on. God’s sovereignty versus man’s responsibility. God’s wrath versus His love. Knowing when to move versus waiting. The typical response of most people is to polarize around the tension that best fits their personality, perspective, and theological bent. Sadly, most people have been taught an either/or perspective rather than a both/and vision. This means they see everything as right or wrong rather than different, especially when it comes to non-essentials.

In physics tensions are there to help maintain the integrity of the system they serve. Similarly, in relationships and religion, God has created tensions to give each of us the balance we so desperately need. Think about how often opposites attract. Extroverts are frequently drawn to introverts. Planners and schedulers like those who fly by the seat of their pants and vice versa.

Sometimes, however, when tensions are not met with humility and grace, they cause even greater divisions that can, on occasion, seem to widen of a chasm to cross. Look at the polarization in our political system. Even if the party across the aisle has a fair and good point, it is automatically discounted, not on the basis of truth or effectiveness but simply because our side didn’t think of it first.

If you are closer to one side of a tension than the other, you are considered a heretic from the further side and compromised by the closer side since you are not with them on every jot and tittle. Individuality and personal integrity are sacrificed on the altar of imitation. Yes, there is such a thing as absolute truth that will be so in every generation and in every situation. There are many other things, however, where God grants individual judgment and working out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12). Unfortunately, there are people who feel they are so good working out their salvation, they want to help you with yours as well.

Albert Einstein said that in physics you can use one theory one time and use a contradictory theory the next time, and they both be successful. The same is true in life. How do we know which “theory” to use in our relationships and in our individual choices? We must learn to walk in the Spirit (Gal. 5:25) and have our senses exercised to know how to discern between good and evil, good and almost good, and simply different. (Hebrews 5:14). Finally, we must walk in humility.

The glory of homeschooling is that we have the opportunity to spend more time with our children to teach them how to walk through tensions with their siblings, employers, fellow church-goers, future spouses, and the culture as a whole. May we rejoice in the Lord for such a wonderful privilege.