A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. –Proverbs 25:11 (ESV)
Throughout the scriptures we are reminded about the power of the tongue as it has the potential to bring healing and life or pain and death. A word “fitly” spoken involves two aspects: 1) the right word 2) at the right time. When we do this, it has the value of a beautiful jeweled setting of gold and silver. Isaiah said the same thing in 50:4, “The Lord God has given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary.”
Some Christians are naturally gifted with mercy (Romans 12:8) and therefore are more attuned to the needs of others as they go throughout their day. They may come across someone at their workplace or in the grocery store, and they can just sense that they need some encouraging words at that moment. Unfortunately, others of us can be so caught up with our own circumstances that we forget to be looking to entertain angels unaware. To be blunt, we need to be less in tune with self and more in tune with God; this is true in our home as well.
Throughout my twenty-five years of pastoral ministry, I interacted with people everyday and in addition did a fair share of counseling. During these exchanges I focused intently on words and nonverbal communication, so I could understand not just the words that were on their tongues but especially the thoughts that were in their hearts. “Why put forth so much effort?” you ask. I wanted to speak words that were like apples of gold.
Sadly, like many ministers, when I went home at night I often took off my pastor’s hat and sat in an emotional stupor, recovering from the drain of the day. The obvious problem was that my wife and children needed some of that same attention. On more than one occasion my wife would say, “It’s snowing outside!” and it was in the middle of August. That was my loving reminder that I was supposed to engage with my family at night like I did with my flock throughout the day.
For us fathers, it is such a subtle temptation to give everything we have at work but have little leftover in the evening for our spouse and children. That can be true for moms as well who are talking to friends or messaging on Facebook to comfort others in their hour of need. They can sometimes forget that those within their own walls may need a word fitly spoken. Contrary to what some may think, the older our children grow, the more encouragement and interchange they need from us parents. The transition from childhood to adult has some unique challenges and they need encouragement.
If you want to get serious on the issue of speaking the right words at the right time, ask your spouse or your older children if they feel you speak words that are “fitly spoken.” If they say, “Yes!” praise God! If not, ask for examples of when you have lacked this grace and then ask God to empower you to better fulfill this beautiful scripture. It is never too late to become a verbal jeweler.
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