What is Manhood Chowder

I live in Edwards County. If you look it up on the internet, we are known as the Chowder Capital of the World. What is chowder? It is a combination of all sorts of meats and vegetables mixed in a soup or stew-like concoction. Of course, “meat” is a pretty broad category. Sometimes in life it is simply best not to ask for specifics.

As Father’s Day approaches, there will be numerous posts, articles, and videos about what it means to be a man. Many think of manhood as knife-toting, coon-skin wearing, flesh-eating athletes who have trouble using anything above mono syllabic vocabulary. I have been to Father/Son camps where they skin animals, took a Polar Plunge, and ate nothing but roots and wild berries for a weekend. Okay, I am kidding about the roots and berries. (I’m thinking more like donuts.) It is biblically ironic, however, I have never been to a camp where they teach sons how to play the harp or how to write poetry. Many in the Masculine Christianity Movement of decades ago would shrink at the very notion. Tell that to David, a killer of giants and of entire armies.

We tell young men to “man up,” but what does that even mean? Manhood is like chowder; there are so many different ingredients it is hard to narrow it down. Sadly, we tend to think in terms of either/or as opposed to both/and. I know I have been guilty of this. When I was a teenager, you either played sports or were in the band; you did not do both. Obviously, this is a false dichotomy, but it is still embraced by many men. There are many false dichotomies when it comes to manhood. For instance, real men drive trucks. Another way to say this is real men drive Chevy’s. No doubt, the hair just stood up on some Found On the Road Dead drivers. Yes, this very thing makes my point. Trucks don’t make us men.

In addition to David, I like talking about Jacob and Esau. In Genesis 25 we see Esau coming out of the womb covered with hair. He is also described as a hunter (vs. 27). Jacob, on the other hand, was a smooth-skinned (Gen. 27:11) guy who like to hang around the tent with mom. (Gen. 25:27) If you would ask the world who the real man is, they would say Esau. Oh, they might try to tame it down in this politically correct world, but let’s be honest. Although Christians are labeled as chauvinistic, homophobic, genderists, etc. it is really the world that embodies these labels. The Bible gives a lot of room in defining what manhood is; after all, it was Jacob who was called by God to become the leader of the 12 tribes of Israel, not Esau. Sure, men are called to lead, but different men have different leadership styles. Some are loud and out front while others are servant leaders. Which one was Jesus? All men are called to walk in the fruit of the Spirit, and this means they are to possess kindness and gentleness. When is the last time you heard these adjectives at a masculinity conference?

Manhood is much like chowder. There is a wide variety of manifestations in the scriptures. When we engage with young men in the church, we must not allow cultural definitions to usurp biblical definitions. By the way, there are Christian women who also miss this truth. I have had men tell me, “My wife thinks I’m a woos.” Why? Because he doesn’t get up in his sons’ faces but tries to talk with them calmly and lovingly. I can honestly say that there are many sons out there who would more quickly embrace this kind of father versus the one they had.

Since definitions matter, we are dedicating this month to pray for the men in the homeschool movement, asking God to reveal to them how He made them uniquely masculine. Please join us on the second Tuesday of June and/or throughout the month as we talk with our children and pray for manhood.

1. Pray that God will put a holy fire into the hearts of husbands and fathers to love the Lord and their families.

• My heart was hot within me, while I was musing the fire burned: then spake I with my tongue, Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am.– Psalms 39:3,4 (KJV)
• “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, –Deut. 10:12

2. Pray that men will be satisfied with whom God made them to be, along with their different gifts and leadership styles, and not compare themselves to other fathers.

• I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. –Psalms 139:14
• And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” ¹⁶ And the Lord said to him, “But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.” –Judges 6:15,16

3. Pray that homeschooling fathers will become increasingly sensitive as well as empowered by the Holy Spirit to lead their wives and children in a Christ-honoring way.

• For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.” –Gen. 18:19

4. Pray that God will bring in biblical examples into the lives of fathers who were not raised with biblical definitions of manhood whether that be at church, work, neighbors, local homeschooling groups, books, podcasts, etc.

• I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. –Psalms 32:8
• But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. –John 14:26

5. Pray for husbands and fathers to humble themselves before the mighty hand of God in dependency upon the Holy Spirit that God may exalt them in the eyes of their family members.

• O God, be not far from me; O my God, make haste to help me! –Psalms 71:12
• Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, –1 Peter 5:6

6. Pray that men will not look at mistakes in their past—other than to learn from them— but will press on to be better prophets, priests, and kings in their own home.

• Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. –Phil 3:13,14
• And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. –Phil. 1:6

7. Pray that as fathers commit to doing devotions, God will give their children a heart to hear what their father says as well as the father having the anointing to bring the bible into the daily life of the family.

• O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. –Psalms 51:15
• And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.–Is. 30:21

8. Pray that if any children have little respect for their father, God’s grace on his efforts will win back their hearts and/or God will bring them to repentance.

• And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” –Mal. 4:6

9. Pray that fathers will find their role in homeschooling as well as knowing how to best encourage their wives in the day to day.

• The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught. –Is. 50:4

10. Pray that men will have the courage to stand by their convictions, realizing everyone will manifest this courage in different ways.

• Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. –1 Cor. 16:13
• because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction. You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake. –1 Thes. 1:5

11. Pray that God will give men the time and discipline to live a well-balanced lifestyle regarding personal health, marital health, and family health.

• Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. –Phil. 4:5 (KJV)

12. Pray that wives will see their husbands making efforts as leaders in their homes, focus on what they are doing right instead of wrong, and encourage them in their leadership.

• She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. … –Proverbs 31:12
• It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. –Proverbs 21:9

13. Pray that God will provide jobs for fathers that will be enough to keep the wife home (if that is their desire) and still give him time to spend with his children in fun and discipleship.

• And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. ²⁰ To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen. –Phil. 4:19,20